January 2005


general31 Jan 2005 10:04 pm

work, reviews, Moment… TRu redesign… other features… … … sleep… xanga… man… i’m beat… i’m so tired i’m whining on a silly blog… that’s pretty rough… so anyway, gotta do these reviews… and i still have no idea what the fourth will be for… hmmm….

peace… love… bdg…

general28 Jan 2005 03:18 pm

i’m drained… i feel nauseous… i dread this weekend… i dread the coming weeks… it’s beyond my strength… that’s just how it is… if you have been or are praying i thank you… if you have or are saying shallowly that you’ll pray only to forget about me as soon as you click away from this page… save it… i don’t need it and i don’t have the time or energy to deal with it… that’s just how it is…

peace… love… bdg…

ps. if you read the Moment every week, this one will be late… sorry…

general26 Jan 2005 04:53 pm

“Never underestimate my Jesus. You’re telling me that there’s no hope. I’m telling you you’re wrong.”

there’s nothing we can do… nothing we can do… it’s only a matter of time… unless you believe in miracles… i wish i could… i know i should.. i mean… i know it’s possible… i know… i know.. though… i may not really think it possible… or at least probable… i long for problems that are solvable… the words hung in the air like the lump in my throat… i’m trying hard to follow… harsh as a burn on my tongue… i know now why… i try… my mouth went dry… i try… trying so hard to swallow…

I throw up my hands “Oh, the impossibilities” Frustrated and tired Where do I go from here?

i slunk over in my chair… like the hair over your brow… i believe… but somehow… it’s different now… it’s far too real… it hurts too much… comfort escapes me… excaping might comfort me… i choke back the tears… thinking back ove the years… nothing to reply… i try… trying hard to follow… everything feels so cliche… there’s nothing to say… i try… i didn’t expect to cry… i stung like frigid winds… my tongue swelled up and went dry… i try… trying hard to swallow…

Never underestimate my Jesus When the world around you crumbles He will be strong, He will be strong

i need to go home… time has betrayed me… i shout at He who made me… bemoaning the misfortune that befell us… knowing i should be jealous… i try… trying hard to follow… i do believe… i do… i try… trying hard to swallow…

I think you can Gather my insufficiencies and place them in your hands

peace… love… bdg…

general25 Jan 2005 04:44 pm

New reviews… yes… indeed i am the new guy… enjoy… more to come….

  • Grand Prize – Identity
  • Scott Krippayne – Gentle Revolution
  • M.O.C. – Jersey Chica
  • Exit East – Exit East
  • i’m tired… next week KJ-52!… oh, and i caught up on my strong bad emails!… that is all… no… wait… WorldOfCM.com has six new reviews… check check it out…

    listen:

    The Afters – I Wish We All Could Win
    Mos Def and Talib Kweli – Blackstar
    Scott Krippayne – Gentle Revolution
    Ray Charles – Genius Loves Company

    see:

    [broken image]

    peace… love… bdg…

    general20 Jan 2005 04:42 pm

    so i’m supposed to be writing up a few more reviews for another site… or working on some features for the TRu… or working on the coding for the new TRu… or working on the coding for 2 other sites… or… well, you get the idea… i really should be heading home… but… eh… i just can’t stop listening to these Black Album remixes… (yep, they got me again)… and i’m stuck in my seat for a little bit more since i slept in a little today… just too groggy to get outta bed this morning… (sleeping in by the way meant that i didn’t get up ’til like quarter to seven)… anyway… first things first… just like W got sworn in for 4 more years today… it seems i got approved for four more reviews this week… if you missed them over at CMCentral… they are as follows…

  • Salvador – So Natural
  • Jeremy Camp – Restored
  • Shane & Shane – Clean
  • Olivia the Band – Olivia the Band
  • i think that leaves them mostly caught up on last years big releases… i tell you, writing four reviews a week is rough, but they do rack up pretty fast… anyway… wondering what’s up with me doing the reviews again?… well… draw your own conclusions… but i’d expect some sort of official announcement naming the new guy… i will tell you this… i know who it is, and i’m pretty excited… (insert wink here)…

    so let’s get back to where i left off last time… yeah, so there’s a lot to pray about these days, isn’t there?… besides my mother in law having cancer and being in a serious condition… a good friend, my best “not an actual family member” friend is going through some really rough stuff… i’m talking financial strains, spiritual trials, the whole gambit… and another dear friend has some troubling concerns as well… i mean… if it’s darkest before the dawn… man, it’s gonna be a beautiful sunrise… anyway… this leads me somewhat to my point… life’s not easy, never has been, never will be…

    so i was reading the other day in Joshua and the whole Jericho account… (and coincidentally, little boy pulled me over to the tv the other morning, asked me to “watch Bob and Laylee,” and handed me the video tape version of Josh and the Big Wall… out of the mouths of babes)… anyway… every message or sermon i had ever heard about this story… referenced the great faith of Joshua to follow through with God’s wacky plans of marching around the city of Jericho once a day for six days and seven times on the seventh day… i mean it really is a wacky plan of attack, isn’t it?… and it’s a good lesson to learn from that story, it’s good to have faith, and trust God even when it sounds like He doesn’t make any sense… but what struck me the other day was how difficult this plan actually was to put into action… i mean think about it… Jericho was a big city… i mean, they had their own king and the land today currently is the home for about twenty thousand… marching around the city could’ve very likely taken a couple hours… then, every day for seven days, and seven times… man… that’s crazy… sure the reward was sweet… but the work was hard… and then i started thinking about a lot of the other accounts in the Bible… Noah had to build this gigantic ark… Moses had to round up all the Israelites and lead them out of Egypt… it seems like all through history, God’s asked us to embrace the fact that life is hard… and yet we all do our best to try to find the easy life… we try to win the lotto or something… find the big payoff with the least amount of effort… hey, it’s hard work being a Christian… always has been… always will be…

    eavesdropping:

    Man of War – Love and War
    Shai Linne – The Solus Christus Project
    Gavin DeGraw – Chariot/Chariot Stripped
    various Black album remixes

    spying:

     [broken image]

    peace… love… bdg…

    general14 Jan 2005 03:48 pm

    so i’m doing alright… it’s just killing me to watch those that i love in such pain… maybe you understand, maybe not… anyway, your prayers are greatly appreciated… basically what’s happened is that my mother in law, who has been dealing with cancer for a little over 2 years, took a turn for the worse and has been in the hospital all week… there’s plenty more to it, but that’s all you get… there are good and bad days… and that’s what we can expect for the coming days… it’s definitely a strain…

    anyway… there are eight reviews on CMCentral that i’ve written over the past two weeks to help ease the transition from the Janke regime to Gerg’s World… here they are if you’re interested…

  • Ill Harmonics – Monkey Business
  • Mat Kearney – Bullet
  • Relient K – Mmhmm
  • Nicole C Mullen – Everyday People
  • Charity Von – Charity Von
  • Flynn – In Like Flynn
  • Derek Webb – I See Things Upside Down
  • Caedmon’s Call – Share the Well
  • also worth noting… the four reviews of this past week mark my final four reviews as the official urban/hip-hop reviewer over at CMCentral… the decision was made by the powers that be to bring in a permanent reviewer that could cover all genres equally well… and so ends another chapter in the life of a broke music journalist… if you have become a fan of my writing, i thank you for your support and encouragement… i’ll still be writing over at the TRu and other outlets so i’m not going anywhere really… i would ask that you extend a nice welcome to the new CMC reviewer when that individual is named…

    i have a pretty cool (in my opinion) little thing i wanna write about life not being easy, but i’ve overrun my time… i hopefully will get to that over this upcoming 3-day weekend… until i return… thanks for reading…

    peace… love… bdg…

    general13 Jan 2005 04:24 pm

    you said I know that this will hurt, but if I don’t break your heart.. things will just get worse

    so… the last few days have been crazy… and it had nothing to do with my little 24 challenge… i don’t even remember what life was really like back then… Tuesday morning… goodness… so much has happened since… little boy is sick… my mother in law is in the hospital… every phone call… every ring… and we cringe… wondering… is this the call?… the call… man… i don’t even know… it’s far too early for things like this… i spent the night last night caring for the needs of my family and wrestling with God and his angels… crazy… is your faith real if you ask for what you don’t expect… is your faith somehow blemished…

    if the burden seems too much to bear, remember…

    why isn’t the knowledge that’s supposed to comfort me… why isn’t it working… why isn’t it easier… Lord make my prayer yours… honor my wishes… but give me strength to handle Your verdict… trying to bargain with God really reminds you of your sins… i’m filthy, how can i ask for a favor?… who am i to even pollute His presence with my request…

    ….but the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair…

    i gotta get outta here…

    peace… love… bdg…

    (i had an entry, but…)

    general11 Jan 2005 08:38 am

    Here’s the deal… to celebrate the return of 24 for its fourth season… (and actually i don’t really watch it, but it seems like a good idea)… if i get enough Kudos in the next 24 hours… starting from whenever this gets posted… i will commit to return more regularly… fair enough?… let’s see what happens…

    peace… love… bdg…

    eavesdropping:

    Fiti Futuristic – Watch What Happens
    others that time will reveal…

    spying:

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