AMERICAN IDO…N’T CARE? OR DO I?

okay, final 12… let’s get it on…

  • Brandon (Won’t You Be My Neighbor) Rogers: Diana Ross likes him and i do to… yeah, but i think he’s destined to be a backup singer… his voice is just kind of strange and wow, is that a frog? oh nice little Elvis dance and yeah, i’m laughing too dawg… not quite there… ha, Randy says he sounded like a background singer too, i’m so ahead of the curve… Paula says what?… Simon says predictable… and everyone’s mad…
  • Melinda (The Good Dr) Doolitle: yeah, those heels are freakin high… nothing like some gay banter to ease the old nerves for the good doctor… HA… i assume goosebumps are good… now i don’t mean to be rude, but Melinda, where IS your neck, girl? dang though, you can’t ask for a better vocal… that’s freaking brilliant… i have goodbumps… she’s good… i can’t even… i don’t want to interrupt… phew… oh lordy, that’s our winner folks… if not then shame on you all… YeaUH Randy, that is HOT… Paula’s melting into tears… and i think Simon would be too, but he’s laughing too hard… 1-866-IDOLS-02
  • Chris (Sloppy Fro) Sligh: who’s hair is bigger?…. Endless Love? bah… if i wanted to hear this, i’d go rollerskating… woah, he looks weird without glasses… i don’t mean that in a bad way… but you just get used to someone wearing glasses… spealing of weird, Endless Love in triplicates?… oh, yeah, it’s certainly him because he’s flat and ahead of the song… you know, without glasses he kind of looks like Hurley… YES! Coldplay… good call dawg… dang, even Paula called him a poser (in so many words)… and Simon says that he murdered it…
  • Gina (hand on the) Glock-son: Love Child… ooh… pronunciation, i can’t stress it enough… dang, that’s a big necklace… she could pretty much suck and Randy would still give the gals this round i think… anyway, she’s not sucking that much, but she is trying too hard to pronounce every word i think… kind of funny actually in a bitter twist of irony… it’s too straight up for me… very boring in a way… i dig this ending though… despite the screeching…
  • San-jambalaya: i like Ryan’s suit… ok, i’m going to make popcorn and hopefully drown this dude out… it’s probably good that there wasn’t any gay banter between Ryan and Simon with Sanjaya around because it would have been really awkward… swivel hips way off pitch there’s like nothing positive to say… Sanjaya is looking for a whale…

    This commentary brought to you by Pop Secret Homestyle Microwave Popcorn… YUMMY! (well, made shorter because of the grease)…

  •  

  • Haley (Don’t Hurt Me): you know, she’s kinda cute… she has a pretty face, but kind of in a weird way… like she reminds me of some sitcom actor from back in the day… what the heck is up with that dress? i think her waist or at least her belt is falling off… she’s not got a very good voice… and hey, what… i…um… forgot what i was going to say, but hey, she forgot what she was going to sing, so i guess we’re even… the comments aren’t all that positive… does she have blue hair? my fingers are slippery…
  • Phil (the Pill): based on this behind the scenes, it’s looking good… you know what i’m thinking right now? It’s downright creepy to watch a Peter Furler look-a-like sing a romantic Marvin Gaye song… i’m just saying is all… yes i wheel… yes i waiiiiiiiiiil…. sorry… not for me dude, take the hanger out of your back… strong vocals, i can agree, but he’s got NO soul…
  • Lakisha (Soul Train):Diana is a funny thinker… seriously? stroking your chin? kiki? there’s already a kiki in gospel… ohh… she’s good yeah, there’s something missing though for me… it’s good though… i like this a lot… no chills though… controlled, yeah that’s a good word…
  • Bl-Bl-Blake: yeah another hot suit… yeah, dude could really go off on a Diana Ross song… hip hop loves diana ross samples… love the dancing, how jamiroquai… nice arrangement… the judges don’t like the arrangement… but they make a good point actually… it’s kind of how i felt when i wasted my money on Motown Remixed… Motown is freaking genius and timeless… leave it alone… i can dig that, but i still like Blake’s arrangement… the vocal could’ve been better
  • Stephanie: love this song (the original) not her hair though… or the dress, really… or this performance, really… where’s the payoff… where’s the excitement… why did you stay and Sabrina leave? this brings me right back to when she sang that Beyonce song and i realized then and there that she has no chance of winning… she’s boring through and through… hence why she has no nickname…
  • Chris (Richie) Richardson: it’s good, but you need to find the hook… ha… that’s a nice way of saying what the heck did you do to my song, kid?… i know a lot of people have compared this dude to Justin Timberlake, but when i watch him swing that elbow all i see is Hee Haw… ok, i know i’m old, but come on… Green Acres, Hee Haw.. that kind of thing… slapping your knee swinging your arm in an eggagerated fashion… anyway, the vocals are way too much… and yet not nearly enough… he just doesn’t have it…
  • Jordin (The Firecracker): well, Smitty’s really down with the idea of Jordin winning this thing… if i had to pick a Diana Ross song, i would never ever in a million years (get it) pick one that was in a cartoon… or a ballad really… she’s doing alright with it though… she’s a little off on her tone, but naw… i like it girl… not too shabby… a three girl race… ha, i’ll leave that comment alone…

    Bottom Line: phew… tough one to call… so many bad performances tonight… i’m leaning towards a bottom three that includes Brandon, Stephanie and Haley… Going Home… i have to say Brandon…

    more coming soon… like, real stuff… not just more fluff

    peace… love… bdg…