TEN LITTLE (INSERT NON-RACIALLY SPECIFIC TERM HERE)

  • Lakisha (Soul Train): i’m running a bit behind here tonight… i’m kind of confused as to the length of tonight’s show actually… an hour an 7 minutes? is that right?… Lakisha isn’t dong too badly… Dance With Me… yeah… i don’t know… it was a little pitchy in spots… but i think she’s selling it well enough… okay… yeah… 67 minutes… weird… anyway… the judges liked her… big surprise… again, i liked it… not too bad… disco ain’t dead sucka…
  • Chris (Sloppy Fro) Sligh: oh great… everyone’s favorite smart um… The Police… oh great… Gwen looks pretty sweet in that outfit… okay… yep… barely into the song and he’s jumping ahead of the beat… if only this joker would spend more time figuring out what rhythm means and less time scouring the internet for funny one-liners to try and make his way through to the next round… ow that’s some rough notes there at the end… ehh… not so hot… the rhythm is gonna get you… i wouldn’t mind seeing him go this week… alright… Simon is letting him have it…
  • Gina (hand on the) Glock-son: Now surprise that Gwen is one of Gina’s heroes… well, Gina bambina… this week is your second chance since i’d have voted you out last week… but well… this is kind of a boring song, am i right? well there’s some edge there… i like that… i don’t understand the outfit though… and again not bad, but the vocals round out to being quite shaky throughout… and the judges say…
  • San-jambalaya: HA HA HA HA HA…. oh my gosh… i think his pregnant mind gave birth and left a whole mess of after birth hanging off of his head… don’t they have stylists for this show?… don’t you mean “my kind of guy?” … oh dear… i don’t think there’s anything good to say…
  • Haley (Don’t Hurt Me): wait, Haley’s still here? oh… that’s right, she’s the one selling her body… starting out in the Kat pose that worked well last year… eh… man, i really find this song annoying… but hey, she’s on pitch mostly… just kind of boring… she’s… okay never mind that was a hot mess at the end there… why on earth… ?
  • Phil (the Pill): love this song… and you know what i love about Gwen? she’s the first guest who’s like really honest… oh man… DUDE… PHIL BABY… you’re rocking the crap out of this song… see guys, i freaking told you that he has a good voice… FINALLY, he shows it off… that was really hot… i’m with that… man… yeah… three girl race? not anymore… maybe…
  • Melinda (The Good Dr) Doolitle: look at Melinda get her groove on… more disco baby… and hey… is it just me or was she maybe reading this here blog last week because this is definitely a different style for her… shows a bit of range and it’s still amazing vocally… yee ha… no chills this week… Phil actually took that honor, but yo that was hot too… again… blows Lakisha away…
  • Bl-Bl-Blake: okay… The Cure… another similarity to one Kevin Max… alright… yeah… his vocal is certainly not the strongest here… but yeah he’s pretty on point… and the cool thing is that dude knows what his limits are and he knows how to play right to his strengths… very nicely done…
  • Jordin (The Firecracker): Hey baby, Hey babaaaay… oh… not feeling the outfit… she must’ve gotten stuck with Sanjaya’s stylist… oh… Jordin… oh… no dear… no… this reminds me of when Paris tried to pull off a Beyonce song last year… and sorry, but this has just fallen flat… i mean really flat… dang… well, i really hope that she’s safe… but i wasn’t feeling that at all…
  • Chris (Richie) Richardson: heh… vocal olympics… nice… see… Gwen’s the BOMB… i like the band so far… i’m not sold on Mr. Richardson to be perfectly honest… very shaky on some of these notes and there’s the old hee haw dance… yeah, no… i’ll pass… he just tries to do too much…
  • Bottom Line: i think i always pick these too quickly… but i’m in the habit, so here goes… Bottom 3?: first let me say again… “dang, Phil was good”… okay… Bottom 3: Sloppy Fro, Gina and Chris Richardson… going home… (my boldest pick of the year) Sloppy Fro…

    peace… love… bdg…