and it’s Tuesday… and that means that i should talk about television… so here’s a quick rundown of my comments… Barney? NO, he’s the best character… at 31 she DID live there?… “It’s not happening if you don’t look at it” “Kind of like Poverty?”… okay, i’m out of thoughts… everything is kind of jumbled together right now… anyway… it’s time for American Idol…

FIVE ALIVE

to the tune of Cracklin’ Rosie – Neil Diamond

Neil Diamond night… TODAY… we comin’ to America… i’m sure someone will sing that tonight… Kristy Lee would’ve definitely done it, but i’d bet on Archy… anyway, here we go…

Jason (Castor Oil) Castro: don’t forget the lyrics, dude… off we go… singing Forever in Blue Jeans… with the guitar… and he’s doing alright… Simon is entirely disinterested… why is that violinist wearing shades?… why does this sound like a really sleepy tune… that’s right, it’s the slacker singing it… you think that eye color is fake or what?… i didn’t mind it too much… Iron Man looks pretty good… Bret Michaels, not so much…

David (Daughtry the 2nd) Cook: goofing off with Ryan, goosing Neil… man, this guy is just too comfortable… i’ve never heard a Neal Diamond song sung in monotone before… what’s up with that jacket?… is he the DC that completes the AC that’s on his jacket and guitar?… is that his mom’s gear? is he peddling her line of wares illegally on the show?… he sang I’m Alive and it was alright, i suppose… i thought it was kind of boring myself, but i’m probably alone in that…

Brooke White (The Piano Whisperer): singing I’m a Believer by the Monkees… or, by Neal Diamond… well, she’s playing the guitar, but the real band is playing loud enough to drown her out… now, if only they could do something about her vocal… it’s not that good… i’ve totally flipped on her since the beginning of this competition… she’s… oh, greay leather pants… no thanks…

{Little) David Archuleta: HA!… he IS gonna sing it… anyway… he’s such a dork in Neil’s presence… own a piece of Archuleta… no thanks… first son is Sweet Caroline… it seems like he forgot the words there… maybe it was just a dramatic pause… well, this just isn’t working for me… he’s just too drama queen for this song… and it’s too Brady Bunch for me… the crowd goes wild and i go to get something to munch on…

Syesha (a.k.a. Cry-esha): singing Hello Again… she’s doing the Kat McPhee sit on the steps routine… and well… i like her voice, i’ve always thought it was good when she stays in her range… this song is pretty slow and some people may think it’s boring… but she’s doing a nice job… she just wanted to show off her vocal control probably… i hope the next one is more memorable…

Randy says, Jason: OK, Cook: Solid, Brooke: Karaoke, Archy: DaBOMB, Syesha: in the zone

Paula says: Jason: lower register, David: something about his second song… what? he only sang once? what? oh he’s fabulous

Simon (amen) says: forgettable, just above average, nightmare, amateurish, old fashioned

ENCORE, ENCORE?

to the tune of Song Sung Blue – Neil Diamond

Jason (Castor Oil) Castro: singing September Mourn… i think this is the Frank Sinatra version… you know how Frank pretty much just says, “screw your arrangement, I’m singing it Myyyyyy waaaaaay…” this is a really slow version and i’m falling asleep… sorry castro… it’s just not cutting it… Randy says, dude, it was just okay, whatever… Paula says it was the same liberty, too safe… Jason says, guh-huh, guh-huh, i was choking…. SImon says no one will remember him or something to that effect…

David (Daughtry the 2nd) Cook: “the rocker’s second outing”… with something… the bag of chips was crinkling too loudly for me to hear… i’ll tell you one thing though… it’s not a rock song… All I Really Need Is You… and now he’s trying to rock out like he’s Jeremy Camp or something… he’s really shouting… and really, he’s reminding me that i will not buy any of the season seven albums… seriously… for reals… Randy says… you know what, i’m a huge fan, you rocked the house… Paula is proud of him because he pulled off the lesser known songs… Simon says, to be honest, one was okay, that was brilliant… BAH!

Brooke White (The Piano Whisperer): like totally, that wasn’t a nightmare, giggle giggle… singing I Am, I Said with the lyrics on her hand facing the piano keys… silly… i actually like this song… this one fits her pretty well… much better than the apparently debatable nightmare that was her first performance… she’s much more comfy behind the piano… Randy says… nice job… Paula says she is vulnerable and everyone loves her… it worked… Simon says he really hated the first one, but this was the one we like…

{Little) David Archuleta: back again with the money, “how can you vote against AMERICA” song… David Archy with his voice cracking and everything… they better hope that he doesn’t hit puberty during this competition… i think even the background singers are boring on this one… let freeedom riiiiiiiiiiiiing…. bah, that was a very campy version of the song… blah… Randy says he was in the zone, Paula says he was on point and she loves him… Simon points out the contrived choice of song…

Syesha (a.k.a. Cry-esha): ooh, i could go for some arby’s… singing Thank the Lord for the Night time and… aw, Syesha, why’d you take it this direction?… maybe she’s going for the Motown, Shirelles type of vibe, but it’s coming across as very High School Musical… i think she lost her shoes too… i didn’t mind it, but it could’ve been much better… and that’s the one they’ll remember… Randy says it could’ve been on Broadway… Paula fumbles through some random words about magic and theatrics… Simon asks Paula if she liked it or not… then he says she’s more of an actress than a singer and she might be in trouble…

Bottom Three: Brooke, Jason, Syesha (going home)

AND THEN…

So, i did some stuff on the old site today… tidied up a few things… redesigned the reviews page, added two reviews… (After Edmund and Leeland), added in a bit under the AbouTRu section and added a way to sign up for a newsletter that i’ll explain more about later… more coming soon…

peace… love… bdg…