okay, i haven’t really said much about American Idol as of yet, because i don’t pay all that much attention to the big parade of highlights that the producers think will bring in ratings… i don’t know any of these final 36 by name so this is, for all intents and purposes, the first impressions on each of these… here we go…

American Idol’s Final 36 (part 1)…

Jackie Tohn – so this is the gal who broke the window in NY… got it… she’s slinking onto the stage like a cross between a sleezy lounge singer and that chick from Flashdance… and, she’s shrieking which i don’t like… that’s a really bad outfit actually… this is a really bad performance actually… Elvis would roll over in his grave if he could… Randy says it was all good on the entertainment side… Kara and Paula stroke her ego and Simon lays down the honesty… well, her parents are proud, so, i guess that seals it… GET THEM OFF THE CAMERA…

Ricky Braddy – i kind of missed the little interview thing here, but i guess he quit his job to do this… okay… you know… this guy’s got a pretty decent voice… it’s definitely a whiter shade of soul, but it’s solid and really impressive… the outfit isn’t too bad – is that velvet? – but his performance is rather understated… not much to it other than the voice… Randy says this is the *real* beginning of season eight… Kara and Paula are fawning… and Simon says that he’s a shy guy with a good voice, but no charisma… oh, are they going to feature everyone’s parents?… the Braddy Bunch… nice…

Alexis Grace so i guess she’s traded in the “dirtied-up” image for a hairdo from the Motown era and a Madonna dress… i think the coolest thing about her was that pink streaks in her hair and now it’s kind of hidden… and she really shouldn’t be singing Aretha… she’s not terrible or anything, but she’s not on that level… the ending was pretty nice… overdone, but good… Randy says, WHAT?… Kara calls her on her Christina wannabe nature (Genie in a bottle, dirrty)… Simon says she’s blown away the other two…

Brent Keith we’re getting all countried up for this one… i don’t think that i’ve ever heard this song before and i don’t think that i’ve been missing much… i’m actually not too sure what to say about this… he’s jumping around and all, but i don’t think it’s much of a rocking song, nor is his vocal all that impressive… i think it’s about a half octave higher than i’d like… Randy likes him, Kara says he held back, Paula acts like a parrot, pulling comments from Randy and Kara… and Simon asks what has happened to Bucky Covington… and then he notes that it was forgettable, but Brent Keith disagrees (of course) and then he goes back and sits too close to Ryan…

Stevie Wright okay, she looks way older than 16… or 17… um, is she whispering? oh there’s her voice… yeah, whispering may have been better… this is a trainwreck… oh you know who she looks like? her face looks like that old troublemaking daughter from Seventh Heaven… oh, but this is more like seven stages of purgatory… Randy says it wasn’t hot… Kara says she’s in the middle of an identity crisis… Paula says she wants a cracker… Simon says that everyone is being too polite and that it was terrible…

Anoop Desai a-Noop dogg… nice… and he’s so gangsta that he’s singing a girl song… i remember when this album came out… it was a big competition between Monica and Brandy as to whose album would sell more… anyway, i digress… so this dude has a pretty good vocal and maybe he’s more comfortable in the upper register, but is he going to sing a girl song every time?… i’m pretty torn on this one… kind of forgettable for me which is too bad… Randy says that it was sharp, Kara says she agrees, Paula says that America has already connected with him and that he sounds like Brian McKnight… Simon says that it was too serious…

Casey Carlson oh dear… she’s singing a Police song… and she’s swanking it up and swapping out she’s for he’s… yeah, i’m gonna say that this isn’t very good… her vocal doesn’t match the song and she’s off pitch a lot… she’s turning it into a broadway tune and it’s just not working at all… it’s too bad because she’s probably got a good look for the contest… Randy says the dawg was lost… Kara says that every little thing about that song was wrong… Paula says that it just didn’t work… Simon tries to find something positive because the singing was atrocious…

Michael Sarver oh a Gavin DeGraw song… well… he clearly doesn’t wanna be anything other than himself, which, by the way, is NOT the next American Idol… this group has really taken a turn for the worse and maybe that’s why the show feels like it’s dragging on and on… he’s way off on this one and he’s making the strangest faces… Randy says where is the soul?… Kara says he’s likeable, but that’s not the best… Paula takes a stand and says that he did a real good job but PICK A HAND FOR GOODNESS SAKES!… Simon says that he likes him, but it wasn’t the best vocal and he’ll only get through because he’s likeable…

Ann Marie Boskovich i don’t really like this song, so that’s one strike… but she’s doing alright with it… she moves around the stage rather strangely, kind of stiff and maybe that’s just a little too over the top there belting out those big notes there… like a peacock trying to draw undue attention… it’s just not soulful enough… it’s as stiff vocally as she is in her performance… Randy says that other people have done that song better… Kara says she should’ve sang something more youthful… Paula says that she’s gotten better than when they first met her… Simon says that her voice isn’t good enough for that song…

BRIEF INTERMISSION: okay, so there was just a commercial for the new X-Men movie… um, Ryan Reynolds? okay, then…

Stephen Fowler thank goodness there are only three more… and hey, this dude actually has some soul based on his past performances… and he’ll be singing Rock With You… aw… well, nice try i suppose… he’s about a beat and a half behind the pace, and the vocal is rather weird for this song… and that long note really didn’t make it all the way to the end… well, thanks for playing… Randy says it wasn’t the right song… Kara says that he seemed disconnected… Paula says it’s good that he remembered the lyrics, but it was a kiss of death… Simon says that he might’ve been better off forgetting the lyrics because the whole thing was pointless and corny…

Tatiana Nicole Del Toro okay, i actually do remember these last two… i wish i didn’t remember her and i really hope no one makes her laugh… or talk… or sing… i guess that’s not going to happen… uh man… a Whitney song… the judges are probably already laughing… okay, i’m not going to say much except that it’s every bit as bad as i expected it to be… please let her go home… Randy says that she had some moments… Kara says that Linkin Park is a roller coaster… i mean, Tatiana is a roller coaster… Paula says that Tatiana is the talk of the town… what the heck is going on? i think the judges are afraid to set her off… Simon says that she’s a drama queen who is desperate to be famous…

Danny Gokey last on the docket and i actually like this guy… not just because he’s from Wisconsin and not just because he works at a church… but he’s got a great tone to his voice and, even though he’s singing a Mariah Carey song, he still manages to bring something to it that’s new… oh, that’s a nice bit of power added to the vocal… that was the best of the night… Randy says that he’s redeemed the night… Kara says that he’s a hero (is she going to make puns on song titles all the time)… Paula says it was stellar and something else with a hyphen… Simon says that it was good…

okay, so the top guy and the top gal and one more make it through… Guy: Danny, Gal: Alexis, Third: Ricky Braddy…

peace… love… bdg…