okay, so i’m running slightly behind schedule tonight and it’s two hours long so i can’t afford to dilly-dally… i don’t like the voiceover intros for the judges and such… seems incredibly silly… so, tonight is the first week of “the final countdown”… tweleve contestants left and it’s for all the beans… or bananas as Ellen would probably say…
tonight, they’re singing songs from the Rolling Stones, a band i never really quite got… i don’t know too many of their songs and, from all that i could ever tell, they’re pretty much just a bunch of sickly looking dudes flailing about the stage and screaming… anyway, my pre-show prediction is that we’ll see Paige, Tim, and Lacey in the bottom three with Paige going home… okay, they’re starting…
CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN
now playing: Papa Was a Rolling Stone – The Temptations
BIG MIKE… from the pimp spot all the way to the forget-me-spot… singing… um… Miss You… and lighting up the stage… he’s got a decent tone going on… a fair amount of energy… and he’s really working it… this is a great way to start out the night… and it’s a good soulful arrangement for him… it really suits him… Randy says he slayed it… Ellen posits, “What’s not to like?”… Kara says he was hot on stage and had a swagger… Simon says that he’s definitely confident, but kind of corny at times… Simon and Ryan have a rather uncomfortable moment or two…
“Ay, Ay, Bee Bee, see see, DIDI”… i think that DiDi will go pretty far, maybe about halfway through the contestants list here, but Rolling Stones probably won’t fit her too well… singing Playing With Fire… she’s kind of got that Madonna look going on… what was that video with the burning cross?… i can’t remember… (afterthought: Like a Prayer)… she sounds alright… it’s a really quiet song and build around the chorus seems to work for her… i’m pretty sure that she just forgot a bunch of words… and she totally blew those big notes… she could’ve done much better than that… Randy says that she was on fire… Ellen tries to be funny by pointing out the two-syllable pronunciation of “fire”… (fail)… Kara says it was two steps forward (again, playing Paula’s role)… Simon says it was a good song choice and that she held it together well, despite some rough moments…
Casey “Sawyer” James… so, we get to reflect on Casey’s life and they try to build a convincing “story” for him… and, oh, an old picture of him singing without a shirt on… surprise… singing It’s All Over Now… he’s pretty much a lock for the top three… oh, by the way, i’ll probably (pending time) rank the contestants tonight and pick the overall order of dismissal too… not much to say about this performance… it’s exactly what i expected… really solid, but extremely safe… a definite lay-up instead of a dunk, but still gets the points on the board… Randy says that he’s back… Ellen reminds us of her sexual orientation… blonde… Kara says that he was a rock star… best performance since they’ve met… Simon says not really… it was like an audition and he needs to push himself to become a bigger persona on stage…
now playing: Proud Mary – Creedence Clearwater Revival
Lacey “The Token Red-haired Gal” Brown…strange outfit… kind of like a Kirk Douglas sailor shirt from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, but cut off with a skin-toned tube top… anyway… singing Ruby Tuesday… it’s really an odd look actually… it’s a bit on the distracting side… perhaps not enough… she did well on the verse, but she really is a timid little thing and she blew the vocal on the chorus… yeah, her clock is ticking… she’ll make a fine director of music at a church somewhere… Randy says it was “interesting” and she “kind of held it together”… Ellen notes that she likes to sit on the edge of things… that it was sleepy, but she’s a fan… Kara says it was fifty-fifty… she can do better… Simon says that she was perhaps overthinking the performance…
Andrew “The Custodian”… so, story is… don’t leave your keys unguarded around Andrew… so, he’s singing Gimme Shelter and the first thing we notice is that the sound is messed up… or i’ve lost a good deal of my hearing suddenly… this is a rather uncomfortable performance for me… he seems incredibly stiff… and there’s absolutely no, um, believability… he needs to practice that custodian trade and clean up these vocals… they’re awful… really, really bad way to start off the top twelve, dude… Randy says it was pitchy all over the place… Ellen says it was his best ever… Kara talks about making a connection to the song… it’s about war… Simon asks if he should’ve drove up in a tank to perform it… then he says that the performance left him with mixed feelings…
Katie “The Mouse”… singing Wild Horses… wow… interesting choice for the lighting… she’s sitting on a stool, bathed in a spotlight and she’s singing way better than one would expect… she’s killing the vocal… it’s still kind of a boring song and she’s got no idea how to command the stage, but she’s getting better… it was very controlled and, even though she’s got some room to grow, but she’s laid some really solid groundwork here… not spectacular, but a good job… Randy says that she sang it really well… Ellen giggles about her dress and talks about pitchiness… Kara says that it was a good song choice and it was pretty good… Simon says it was the first time she picked the right song and she gave it 100%….
now playing: Roll Over Beethoven – Chuck Berry
Tim “The Partidge”… how cute, they always used to pretend that he was a little girl… good times, good times… looking for independence, Tim is singing Under My Thumb… oh, he looks like Zach Effron tonight… well played… and he’s singing a Jason Mraz-like, reggae-lite version of this song… he really seems incredibly young and unsure of what he’s supposed to be doing, but it was alright i suppose… nothing really to write home about… Randy says he didn’t get it or like it… Ellen says that it was too laid back and as if it was performed at a resort somewhere… Kara says that she has to at least applaud him for doing something incredible to the song and making it his own… Simon agrees that he did something different, but it just didn’t work…
Siobhan MAGNUS VER MAGNUSON… wow, forget her family, those glasses are HUGE… ooh, she was on the floor… (the screen was on the floor)… singing Paint It Black… and she’s got her hair all dolled up and she’s wearing black, sitting on the stairs to start off… oh, combat boots… this arrangement is really odd… and the vocal is not at all working for me… she hits some impact notes, but she’s way off the rest of the time… and those lips are uber shiny… and now she’s shrieking because it worked a couple weeks ago… that ending sounded like Stairway to Heaven… Randy says that was hot… Ellen says that she rises above like snookie’s poof?… (follow-up: apparently that’s a Jersey Shore reference… glad i didn’t know that)… Kara is having hot flashes, er flashbacks of Adam Lambert… Simon agrees that it was the standout performance of the night… they may try to make her the dark horse in this race… she’ll be around much longer than many of us can stand…
Lee “Da Wise Guy”… the paint salesman… the next David Cook/wanna-be Daugtry… i feel like crying and he hasn’t even started yet… singing Beast of Burden… well, i’ll be… this really isn’t that bad… it’s rather under control and very toned down… he’s not screaming his head off and trying to prove that he’s a powerful manly man who growls when he sings… he’s probably just too nervous to express himself… pretty sleepy, but it’s not bad… i’ve never been pleased with his performance before… Randy says it was dope… Ellen says she expected more and it just didn’t come together – like a hospital gown (almost, but not quite there)… Kara says it showed tremendous growth… Simon says he really like him, but he needs to shine and steal himself a moment…
now playing: That’s Just the Way We Roll – Jonas Brothers
“Paige Turner”… singing Honky Tonk Women… i can’t imagine that she’s going to do an even remotely good job with the Rolling Stones… and so far, i’m absolutely right… it’s a complete mismatch of styles converging here on this song… she really has some potentially killer vocals, but they really don’t fit this song well and overall, it’s blocked out of your mind by the rest of the song being an uncomfortable fit… Randy says that she did a really good job… Ellen points out that she struggled with her voice, but still managed to do a good job… Kara says that she hit a lot of big notes in spite of being sick… Simon says she still hasn’t quite connected, but she showed some glimpses of the big vocals that they like…
Aaron Aaron… ugh… his mom’s name is Kelly Kelly? awesome… singing Angie… and sitting on the steps, wearing a leather shirt and acting like a complete poser… at least he’s picked a mellow song that allows him to limit the range that he attempts to sing in… well, he wasn’t bad, per se, but that was a horribly boring song for me… Randy mentions a Justin Timberlake similarity… Ellen compares his hair to hers… Kara says he really showed her… Simon says that he expected a disaster, but he chose the right song and it worked… (oh, and then he mentions the limits to the vocal range… he’s clearly reading over my shoulder)…
Crystal BoSAWX… oh, what a surprise… let’s pimp the homeless chick… she’s wearing those thick leather bracelet things that are so very irritating… singing You Can’t Always Get What You Want… if this song was her life’s motto, i think the rest of the sentence would be something like, “… but you can certainly complain about it until people pity you”… oh, someone wrote on her guitar… so, i suppose this is a good arrangement… she’s got some moments here and there that make it poppin, but i think it was kind of just alright for me on the whole… i think she’s a one-trick pony to be honest… Randy says it wasn’t her best, but it was a hot one… Ellen says she lacked personality tonight, but it was really good… Kara says that she seemed a little cocky, er, comfortable… Simon asks what she meant by “overthinking” to which she responds “I don’t know”… brilliant… Simon continues to say that she was the favorite coming into tonight, but she wasn’t the best tonight…
ROLL THE CREDITS…
now playing: Let It Roll – Group 1 Crew
so, as i’m already out of time, i’ll try to make this speedy… i think that Lacey was clearly the worst performance tonight and she might actually say goodnight for good… let’s go with a bottom three of Andrew, Paige, and Lacey, with Lacey hanging it up tonight… which brings me to my next little trinket… the order in which they will all leave the show is as follows: 12. Paige, 11. Andrew, 10. Lacey, 9. Aaron, 8. Tim, 7. DiDi, 6. Katie, 5. Siobhan, 4. Michael, 3. Lee, 2. Crystal, 1. Casey… obviously, i picked that list before watching tonight, and i didn’t put a lot of thought into it but that was just the way it played out as i looked at the list before tonight’s performances…
and now, i’m off… but i leave you with a couple questions… first, who’s going home tomorrow? second, who’s going to win it all?
peace… love… bdg…