okay, bottom, i mean top, nine once again after Big Mike used up the one save of the season… i will be very short tonight – partially because i’m starting late in the show and partially because i need to be quick with it… quick picks up front, since two are going home, it will be Katie and Aaron… this week is Elvis week and Adam Lambert actually is mentoring them… for whatever reason… off we go…

BLECH OF NINE TALES…

now playing: It’s Now or Never – Elvis

Crystal BoSAWX… commenting after the fact and watching the letters appear many seconds after i’ve typed them (something going on with my laptop)… but she sang a song about lying and cheating… i thought she screamed a bit, but she was very confident and it was a good opening… the judges all agreed, she’s fantastic…

Andrew “The Custodian”… Andrew bored Adam with his version of Hound Dog… what’s the bet that he bores America with it tonight?… it kind of feels like everyone popped a handful of Vicodin and then decided to sing it… really slow, really, well, boring… the ending was the best part of the whole thing… Randy says that Simon called it – bad karaoke, for real… Ellen stands up for him, but said he needed a little more swagger… Kara says he didn’t own it… Simon says it was lazy and it wasn’t a star performance…

Tim “The Partidge”… surprise, Adam digs on Tim… singing Can’t Help Fallin’ in Love… and i’ve finally figured out who his vocal reminds me of… Blake, Bliggety, Blake Lewis… the stage lights are really dark – perhaps to make it harder for him to win with his smile – but i thought he did a super cool job… i liked it a lot… Randy says surprise, he liked it… Ellen says that she would like to drink him down like shots of tequilla… Kara says it was her favorite Tim performance… Simon says it was beautiful – zero to hero in two weeks…

now playing: All Shook Up – Elvis

Lee “Da Wise Guy”… Adam says that Lee’s got nothing going on inside his head i think meaning that he’s dumb… but he’s singing A Little Less Conversation and i think it sounded pretty good… i suppose that puts me back on the fence with him… it was a good job… Randy, Ellen, and Kara all raved… Simon liked it as well…

Aaron Aaron… here’s a good pairing… Adam wants him to be a little more fierce… singing Blue Suede Shoes… starting on the stairs and dressed like a complete poser, he swaggers on over to sing in Kara’s face… it’s a decent vocal, i suppose, but the arrangement really accentuates the fact that this performance is anti-climactic… by the way, he’s wearing black shoes and they’re not suede… Randy says that some of it sounded alright, but not all of it… Ellen gives him an A for effort… Kara likes it because it kept him out of his comfort zone… Simon disagrees and says it was what it was… frustrating and karaoke-ish…

Siobhan MAGNUS VER MAGNUSON… Siobhan is rocking the Elvira hairdo for the show… scratch that, the Adam Lambert hairdo… she’s singing Suspicious Minds and raising suspicions that her weirdness is all one big act… anyway… we get the screaming back… and i actually like the second half of this arrangement… took a little long to get to it though… felt like a really long performance… Randy says she took some risks and the second half made it worthwhile… Ellen says she looks fabulous and she liked the second half too… Kara says that the two different voices is confusing… Simon says that it was completely different than the rest of the season… she gives him the look of death… he said the first part sucked… in so many words… she argues that she’s so unique, she’s incredibly special… blah blah blah…

now playing: Return to Sender – Elvis

BIG MIKE… singing In the Ghetto for redemption… and i’ll bet he’s already tried one or two of those KFC double-down sandwiches… yeah, baby… anyway… he’s got a good voice as always, but again, it’s kind of a boring arrangement… yes, it’s soulful, and yes it’s smooth, but it’s also exactly what he sings every week… Randy says, sleepy, but hot… Ellen says she’s glad he was saved… Kara says beautiful song, sung well… Simon says terrific no more time…

Katie “The Mouse”… singing Baby, What Do You Want Want Me to Do as a jab at the judges and their continually conflicting advice… i like the horns and i like her vocal for the most part… she really needs someone to show her what soul really is though… that ending was incredibly weak… overall, alright… Randy says it was sassy and entertaining… Ellen talks about it being horny… Kara says… “FACE!”… Simon says it was loud and annoying…

Casey “Sawyer” James… singing Lawdy, Ms. Cloudy and playing up his bluesy element… it almost sounded like someone else sang the first stanza and then he started singing again… he does have the perfect voice for this style, but this is probably the most boring of his performances and i dare say he’s a little shaky on some of these vocals… Randy says it was solid, but not different… Ellen agrees, but it wasn’t that exciting… Kara says that it fell short… Simon says it was a wasted opportunity…

HIT THE ROAD, JACK…

now playing: Heartbreak Hotel – Elvis

okie dokie… that’s a wrap and i can’t say that it played out too much differently than i expected… i’m gonna go ahead and guess that they’ll do a bottom four this week and that it will be Katie, Aaron, Andrew, and Mike… with Aaron and Andrew going home…

what do you think?… who blew it and who rocked the house?

peace… love… bdg…

i know, i know… it’s incredibly late and you’ve been chomping at the bit for my take on this week’s episode of LOST but i’ve been busy in the past and busier in the past week… all good things though, much like this week’s episode, centering on Desmond and his unique capabilities… happy to see return appearances from Charlie, Daniel, Eloise, and Penny – and not in ways that were expected (necessarily)…

anyway, i’m going to dive right in and try to be shorter than normal on the recap portion so i can, perhaps add more thoughts at the end… (no, really, i mean it this week)… as i did last time, i’ll be putting the “_X” side story paragraphs in italics… off we go…

HAPPILY EVER AFTER…
now playing: Happily Ever After – LOST season six

it starts with an eye… it should always start with an eye… Zoe is waking Desmond up because it’s about time he gets to doing the Island’s business… interestingly enough, he’s been unconscious for three days… THREE DAYS… and now he’s resurrected and he’s back on the island, and he’s not at all happy about it… he’s as mad as the Hell he might be in… he starts beating Widmore soundly about the head with the IV stand… “The Island isn’t done with you yet”…

Jin wants to know what’s up and Widmore says it’s easier to show it than explain it… Zoe takes Jin to the generator room where they’re all set up for experiments… hey, it’s one of the Dharma bunnies… they’re stepping up the timeline because Desmond is awake and he won’t sit still for long… but, we’re not ready, but we’re doing it anyway, but it won’t start… go check the connections… (DON’T GO IN THAT ROOM!)… geiger-like clicks and clacks… probably bad news… let’s watch from the main room… the team idiot finds the problem in the breaker and without thinking, decides to “bring it back online”… Tina- i mean Zoe – freaks out, but he flips the switch and it takes a full minute of shouting “NO” and “TURN IT OFF” for the idiot to actually turn it off… but the damage is done… they all run to the generator room, Seamus brings his gun, which may be physically attached to his arm, only to find the sucker who had to check the connections crumpled up in a corner, fried like mozzarella…

Widmore appears in the doorway, glances at the corpse, and simply asks if they’re ready… awesome… after the jump, they force Desmond into a chair in the middle of the generator room and make sure he’s not wearing any metal. Widmore says he’ll probably be fine, but he’ll have to sacrifice something later on to save the world and all the people he loves… they leave, Desmond starts breaking things, then they turn it on, with some hesitation from Jin and Seamus, apparently the only two left with a conscience… blinding light, screams from Desmond… then clouds… just clouds…

Desmond is staring at the baggage pickup board in LAX, but really he’s staring beyond it… Hurley tells him which carousel to go to… he helps Claire and chats her up, telling her she’s going to have a boy… George Minkowski(from the freighter) is his designated driver… and Desmond seems less than interested in any of the other services George offers… “Guess that’s why you’re the boss’s right hand man, and I’m the… driver”

(so far, this isn’t any shorter than the others…)

Mr. Hume enters the office building and is immediately sent into “his” office. (We’re assuming it’s Widmore’s office, because that makes sense to the story). Immediately, we see a painting of perfectly balanced scale similar to the MiB’s scale on the island. One side contains black meterial, the other white. It actually looks like a cross in the middle, but perhaps that’s just coincidental design. And it is Widmore, and they give each other a big hug.

Desmond stares at a model yacht, perhaps recalling a time when he tried to sail around the world. Widmore is bullying someone over the phone, trying to get someone out of jail. He speaks of an Australian deal and his son, the musician, who wants to combine classical music with modern rock, specifically “You All, Everybody.” Desmond isn’t quite hip to the rock scene, but quickly realizes that he’s going to be babysitting Charlie, the junkie from Driveshaft.

Widmore tries to convince Desmond that he’s living the ideal life – one that is free from family, commitments, and attachments. Desmond replies, noting that he is a “blessed man,” but Widmore retorts that Desmond is more a blessing as an employee, than blessed as a man. They share a drink fo that famous 60-year old scotch. Charles tells Desmond that “nothing is too good for you.” Desmond propses a toast to “cilantro,” or something that sounds somewhat similar to that. I can’t stand cilantro, and i assume he said something else.

We get a nice long mirror-like shot of Desmond as he approaches the courthouse to pick up Charlie. Charlie blows by him, defies a few cars to run him over, and heads to a bar. Desmond joins Charlie in the bar and limits him to one drink. Charlie balks and asks Desmond if he’s happy. He then proceeds to talk about “spectacular love.”

Charlie explains how, in the act of swallowing his stash of drugs, he had a near-death experience on the plane. During that time, he experienced true love. He saw her (Claire) and it was like they had always been together. Desmond looks almost lost in the moment before snapping out of it and telling Charlie to write a song about it. Then they argue about the truth – whether it’s the love that Charlie experienced or the reality that he needs to go do a show and appease Widmore. “There’s always a choice, brotha.”

Des and Charlie are driving to the hotel. “You All, Everybody” is playing on the radio. Charlie starts talking about his dream world again, telling Des that he is pitiable for not knowing the truth. He offers Des the choice between learning what it’s about or getting out of the car. Then, Charlie grabs the steering wheel and Des – for some reason – decides to floor the accelerator as Charlie navigates them off the pier into the water.

Underwater, Des manages to get himself free, struggles with Charlie’s seatbelt, goes up for air and then comes back down to rescue Charlie. Maybe we’ve seen this scenario play out before – I wonder if Charlie knows how to swim in this reality. It gets even crazier as Des tugs on the door and Charlie puts his hand up on the car window, causing Des to momentarily flash back to the underwater Looking Glass station and Charlie’s note: “Not Penny’s Boat.” After a brief time of confusion, Des manages to grab Charlie and pull him to the surface.

Another closeup on Desmond’s eye as a real nurse checks him out after the crash. She asks about hallucinations and he’s somewhat troubled. He insists that he needs to find Charlie, but she makes him go get an MRI to “find out what’s going on inside of [his] brain. The medical assistant makes sure he’s not wearing any metal and offers him a button to push – a panic button that will make everything start all over again. Des lists Widmore as his emergency contact and, while in the MRI machine has visions of his past life, his “real” life. Visions of Penny and Charlie and little Charlie cause him to panic and escape the MRI to go find Charlie, the rockstar.

Unfortunately, the receptionist refuses to give Des any information about Charlie or the room he’s in. Jack walks by and Des recognizes him. Jack recognizes him, too. As Des is asking him for a favor, Charlie in his hospital gown comes tearing down the hallway, seeking escape. Des corners him and they have a few words about who’s showing something to whom. Charlie insists that he wasn’t trying to kill either of them, but that it may take a near-death experience to reveal the reality in which they should be living, the reality with true love. Des, though obviously shaken by this confusing revelation, still tries to strongarm Charlie into getting over to the Widmore’s rock show, but Charlie refuses, insisting that “none of this matters.” Charlie saunters off, telling Des to stop worrying about him and start worrying about Penny – whoever she is.

Des is on the phone explaining Charlie’s harrowing escape to Widmore who is less than enthusiastic. Widmore all but tells Desmond that they are no longer BFFs. Des must go tell Mrs. Widmore in person that Charlie won’t be performing his “bloody concert.” George drives, which begs the question: “Why didn’t he drive Des to go pick up Charlie?” Also, George is kind of an idiot. Mrs. Widmore, by the way, is none other than Eloise Hawking, and she’s incredibly particular about details.

Desmond strolls up under the tent and introduces himself to Eloise, taking her breath away momentarily, before she regains composure and shakes his extended hand. They exchange some pleasantries before Eloise cuts to the chase and asks what crisis must’ve occurred for Charles to send “his best fix-it man” to address her. He all but gulps and explains that Charlie won’t be there to perform with her son. She doesn’t seem concerned at all and extends magnanimous grace that contradicts her reputation, noting that rockstars are unpredictable. Des is stunned that she isn’t angry. She quotes the recurring theme – “What happened, happened.” – and dismisses Desmond without even a second glance.

Ah, but the story has only just begun. As Des is leaving the premises, he just so happens to stroll past the party coodinators in charge of seating as they read through the list of invitees. One such invitee is: “Milton, Penny. Solo.” With perked-up ears, Des asks to see the list, grabs it, and, well, before he looks at it, Eloise swoops in like a hawk(ing) and snatches it away, telling him it’s confidential. He balks and she gets all Taxi Driver on him – “Are you questioning me?” – before ushering him to a different part of the tent. This is somewhat reminiscent of Jacob’s list and the secrecy with which they were divulged. Also of note, someone with long hair is wearing a cool hat and watching this scene unfold (we see the back of his head).

Eloise scares off the caterers and bluntly interrupts Des as he tries to apologize. She tells him to stop (stop what?). “Someone has clearly affected the way you see things. This is a serious problem. It is, in fact, a violation.” Milk-a-WHAT? (sorry) She continues, informing Des that he needs to stop looking for whatever it is that he thinks he is looking. Des looks around and asks if she knows what he’s looking for. She is beside herself as to why he’s looking for anything. “You have the perfect life.” Also, he’s attained “the thing [he] wanted more than anything:” Widmore’s approval. (Interestingly though, he only wanted that approval so that he could marry Penny).

Des asks how she knows what he wants – because she bloody does. Then he wants to know why he can’t see the list. “Because you’re not ready, yet, Desmond.” (Ready for WHAT?) Side note: maybe this is important, maybe not, but after calling him Mr. Hume or Hume, she finishes it off this compelling exchange by dramatically calling him “Desmond.”

George is waiting for Des back at the car and, having previously warned him of Eloise’s reputation, guesses from Desmond’s body language that it didn’t go well. Des asks for alcohol which is available in the limo. He tells George to just drive anywhere when the mysterious man with the hat and long hair knocks on the window. It’s Daniel Widmore and they need to talk.

Des and Dan approach a nearby bench and Dan asks if Desmond believes in love at first sight. He proceeds to describe the first time he met Charlotte (presumably) in a museum where she works and it felt like he already loved her. Then things got weird. Apparently Dan – who is a musician – went back home that night and scribbled out some uber advanced quantum physics equations that could only be understood or developed by someone who had been studying physics their entire life. Again, Des is slightly less than impressed, resistant if you will.

Des asks what it all means and Dan explains that it’s like setting off a nuclear bomb to stop something from happening. “You want to set off a nuclear bomb?” Dan continues to describe the possibility of another life, another world, another reality – the one to which they truly belong – and how for some reason, they destroyed it to create the life they’re currently living. “I don’t want to set off a nuclear bomb… I think I already did.”

Desmond tries to brush it off, but Dan brings up Penny, causing pause. Dan continues to talk about love, knowing that Desmond has felt that love, too, that he’ll understand. Des tries to argue that Penny doesn’t exist, that she’s only an idea. “No, Mr. Hume. She’s my half sister.” Dan proceeds to arrange a meeting between Des and Penny.

At the stadium. The stadium. Running stairs just like Jack and Des used to do. He sees her and is immediately swept away. He approaches as she finishes her workout and introduces himself. As soon as their hands touch, Desmond wakes up on the island.

Only a few seconds have passed and Desmond is fine. Widmore begins explaining that Desmond is vital to the mission at hand, but Desmond interrupts. He understands and he’s ready to get started. Zoe leads him out into the jungle, confused by his sudden change of heart. She thinks his brain was fried, but it doesn’t change that he’s gonna…

Sayid interrupts the conversation, jumping out from a bush and killing the two henchmen accompanying Zoe and Des. He pulls a gun on Zoe and tells her to run. He doesn’t have time to explain why, but he tells Desmond that “these people” are “extremely dangerous” and that they have to leave immediately. Desmond is complacent and more than willing to follow.

Not sure why, but Desmond wakes back up at the stadium, apparently having passed out from the handshake. (I guess the mainland wasn’t done with him yet). He shakes off the cobwebs and musters up enough courage to ask her out for a coffee. They make plans to meet on the corner of Sweetzer and Melrose in an hour. George asks Des if he’s found what he was looking for. He thinks so. George asks if there’s anything else he needs. Des asks for the manifest from Oceanic 815 so he can “show them something.”

AND THEY ALL…

now playing: Happy Together – The Turtles

…lived happily ever after. By the way, before i do a little bit of speculating – if you look for a coffee shop on the corner of Melrose and Sweetzer, you’ll find (a couple buildings up Melrose) what i think is a hidden message from the writers…

anyway, obviously, there’s a new episode on tonight and i didn’t write this whole thing out in one sitting and now it’s crazy late in the game to do too much processing… i do have two quick things to mention that i’ll have to revisit a little later… first, i don’t think Jughead ever went off… the incident was (and always was_ and electromagnetic anomaly… (there are, i believe, implications to that)… and the second thing is a question… why did Locke have a sideways flashback? Perhaps more appropriately, given that Locke is dead, who actually envisioned Locke’s “_X” reality? Was that the MiB’s “_X” timeline? Was Locke always the MiB?

okay, more on all that later… right now, American Idol has started and Everyone Loves Hurley is queued up…

peace… love… bdg…