We are halfway home, down to a half dozen and to be completely honest, i’m likely to be “half dozin’” as i watch because this show is really off the rails this year… anyway, we press on… it’s Shania Twain week, which i guess means country music? oh, specifically Shania Twain songs… that makes sense, since there are four guys and two girls left… i can totally see Big Mike singing “I Feel Like a Woman“… anyway… let’s go ahead and dig in…

THE MARK OF THE BEAST (SIX)…

now playing: That Don’t Impress Me Much – Shania Twain

Lee “Da Wise Guy”… so, Lee is starting things off, which may be the death of him… singing You’re Still the One… and by singing, of course, i mean growling and screaming… he starts off way off key… screams his way back into reality and hits on and off throughout the performance… Randy says it started off pitchy, but it was pretty good… Ellen says it was better than pretty good, he sang it like no one else would, and he’s cute… Kara says that he didn’t relate to the fact that it was a love song, but he did smile, and it was good… Simon says that it was the right choice, but he made weird faces… Kara cuts him off, he asks to finish, and then the producers cut him off…

BIG MIKE… so, i was thinking that Lee’s performance felt short, as if the show was only a half hour, but then they blasted through about 40 commercials, most of which are for terrible Fox shows… anyway, it’s BIG MIKE time… he’s singing It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing… i’ve never heard it before and i wish that were still the case… he started out on the stairs, lollypopped his way through it and ended with a falsetto… it was alright, but pretty much the same thing he always does… Randy says he’s in the zone of who he is… Ellen recalls Luther Vandross and says it was beautiful… Kara talks about connections again – is she launching a dating website soon or something?… Simon says it was a little wet, meaning girlie…

Casey “Sawyer” James… intersting choice to lead off guy heavy… i probably would’ve mixed the girls into the order a little better… whatever… Casey is singing Don’t and Shania thinks he lacks some inner confidence… he certainly doesn’t lack a vibrato… it’s a slow song, showcasing his vocals quite a bit, kind of like when he dressed up in that white suit a couple weeks ago and sang some other slow song… it’s really good… Randy says it was the best Casey performance ever… Ellen says, actually, it was the best performance you’ve done to date… Kara says it was good, bad, and ugly… and that he’s an artist… Simon agrees with Randy (and, by default, Ellen)… Shania gets an extra hug…

now playing: Up! – Shania Twain

Crystal BoSAWX… she gets all first season Phoebe (from Friends) on Shania talking about her aura and other such nonsense, then she questions her boyfriend’s manhood on national television… singing No One Needs to Know and it’s probably her worst performance, but she’s smiling and she’s everybody’s favorite… i just wasn’t all that impressed… she’s clearly the most talented, but not the most impressive – at least tonight… Randy says it wasn’t his favorite from her, but he liked that it was country… Ellen echoes and pitches Skittles… Kara calls Ellen one of the guys and then agrees that it wasn’t that great… Crystal starts to argue about bigger not being better… Simon agrees that it wasn’t her best and that it lacked conviction… she argues again… and Ryan calls out her boyfriend in the audience…

Aaron Aaron… i’m going to ignore the painfully obvious joke about the lineup order tonight… anyeay, he’s singing You’ve Got a Way With Me next to a giant 50 foot projection of his head… he’s just sitting there on the stool with a stripped down arrangement and his vocals are laid bare… and, i’m sorry, but he’s completely showing just how outclassed he is on this stage… that last note was fine, but the rest of it was skittish at best… Randy says country is his wheelhouse and he did a good job… Ellen says that everyone is doing well and he connected to it… Kara says it was smart to take out the “making love” line… he says that he was singing to his mom, so that makes it a REALLY good choice… Simon says it was really good job and that he’s back…

Siobhan MAGNUS VER MAGNUSON… okay, she gets the pimp spot… and she’s singing Any Man of Mine… and i mean that very loosely… this is horrifying… she’s no where near the right rhythm, key, or anything… this may be the end of the road… finally… oh, here it comes… the huge note and dramatic finish… you know, if that was the entire performance, i would’ve liked it… but she can’t sing the rest of the time… roll out the red carpet judges… Randy loved it… Ellen tries again to make the “Twain – Train” joke, but that she loved it… Kara says that she’s back… Simon says that he liked it and he doesn’t normally like country music, but it sounded like she was giving birth at the end… unbelievable…

THE PIT OF ETERNAL FIRE…

now playing: Nah! – Shania Twain

alrighty, wasn’t that special?… i’m going to go ahead and rank these six performances and then make my pick… and i’m realizing just now that i didn’t pre-predict who is getting the boot… sorry… anyway… here’s the order from worst to first… Siobhan, Michael, Lee, Aaron, Crystal, Casey… just my initial thoughts, anyway… so, who’s going home… bottom three: Michael, Aaron, Siobhan… going home Krystal… SURPRISE!… no, actually, Big Mike gets the Big Boot…

what do you think?… who’s sticking their boots back under their own bed and saying Honey, I’m Home next week?

peace… love… bdg…