Awwwwww yeeeeeeah… now it starts to get interesting… the final showdown… two singers left and it’s CAGE MATCH STYLE…. okay, it’s not cage match time, but it is the final competitive hoe-down… i mean showdown… and, like most of you, i’m so ready for it to be over… it’s been an interesting season and i’m so glad that the final two are in it to win it… Scotty vs. Lauren… and they’re already handicapping Lauren by saying she blew out her vocal chord… but the doctor of death says she’ll be fine…

now playing: Previously by Brad Paisley

three rounds one they’ve sung before, one that’s been picked by their personal idol (George Strait and Carrie Underwood)… and one that’s bound to be awful because it will be their first single… no time for jibba jabba… off we go…

Scotty… singing Gone… and it’s really deep and the sound is not so good in the Nokia Theater… oh, it’s this song… this was his favorite, really?… it’s a good pace and tempo for him and it’s certainly country enough… it shows off his range pretty well… yeah, that was a good choice… and i guess the producers also understand that the judges have nothing to say that’s worth hearing so we just skip that part…

Lauren… singing Flat on the Floor bathed in red lights and the fiddler is getting a work out tonight… she emerges from the staircase and you can kind of tell that she’s afraid to really push her vocal, but it still sounds good a worthy response to Scotty’s opening challenge… again, no need to even acknowledge the judges… we gotta keep the show rolling…

now playing: A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans

this really feels rushed… i can’t even believe they’ve managed to change their outfits… diving right back in…

Scotty… George Strait picked Check Yes or No… and he’s squatting behind a guitar that accentuates how skinny he is… this is a good song for him and i think it’s pointing out how young he is… it’s slower than his opener, but not in a bad way… still a good song… still no judges…

Lauren… Carrie Underwood picked Maybe It Was Memphis… and Lauren’s chosen another princess dress with what appears to be a giant antique key dangling off of her neck… the key to her heart maybe? cute… anyway, this is a low key song that i’ve never heard before, but it seems to work fine… you know, to be honest, it really doesn’t matter how they sing at this point… this show is just a formality… everyone is just waiting for voting to start… oh… now we’re going to talk to the judges…

Randy says America did a fine job picking these two… and it’s so hard to decide… but Scotty was just brilliant with the first song and really good with the second song… but Lauren did awesome with both songs… so round one to Scotty, round two to Lauren…J-Lo says Scotty started off well, Lauren attacked well… what Randy said… Steven goes with the pretty vote, giving both rounds to Lauren… Randy is not willing to make it through a show without shouting that they’re both in it to win it…

now playing: The Story of Us by Taylor Swift

now we get to hear the Coca-Cola song… i’m Positive it will debut high and everyone will have forgotten about it within a month… his mic went out… i think… okay, so i like the concept of a drum corp, but not if they don’t actually play the drums… anyway, that was a mediocre copy of a Black Eyed Peas performance…

Scotty… if Scotty wins, his single will be called I Love You This Big… maybe it will be better because Jimmy picked it… they’re playing his AI history behind him as he bellows out this ballad… and it actually does fit his style… i don’t know how well this would sell, but i suspect it would do alright… Randy (in a pimp suit, by the way) says wow man… it was a great range because he sang low and high… and he’s in it to win it… J-Lo says it really was (a brilliant vocal)… that he’s a good storyteller and he did a really great job with that song… Steven says he’s come a long way… Ryan gives Scotty an extra mic because he’s “too chill”…

Lauren… if she wins, her single is called Like My Mother Does… which apparently captures her entire Idol journey and will move moms like crazy… apparently, her target audience is soccer moms… oh, she’s a little flat on the chorus… but again, it doesn’t matter… this song is all about how great mothers are… Lauren may be crying… Ryan comes over to help her down the steps into the audience so she can hug and serenade her mom without pulling a Haley… it’s a fine song, i suppose… she’s reduced to tears on stage… Randy says wow, amazing job Jimmy, and great job mom for being her supporting Lauren… and oh, yeah, Lauren has arrived, it was amazing… J-Lo says she may have just won with that song… it was everything it needed to be and she sang it just the way she needed to… Steven reminds everyone that he picked her to win it when he first saw her and he thinks America will agree…

now playing: The Gambler by Kenny Rogers

so all three judges are calling this a victory for Lauren, whether they want to say it specifically or not… and it’s been a long time since a girl won… and as David Cook grumbles out Don’t You Forget About Me, i’ll go ahead and call it the opposite way… Scotty is your American Idol… anybody dare defy me?

peace… love… bdg…